How I Help

JWHolley, M.A., Marriage and Family Therapist

Teletherapy And Coaching

In my efforts to make full use of current technology, and to reach and be able to support as many people as I possibly can, I have recently added 'Teletherapy' and 'Coaching' to the services I offer.

Teletherapy is simply therapy provided via telecommunication devices - the internet (video conferencing), and telephone. This support is available to anyone residing within the state of California.

Coaching is available to any English speaking person in the world, and as with therapy, I am able to provide this support both face to face or via telecommunication. My coaching specialties are in 'Parenting and Teens,' and 'Deepening, Growing, and Maintaining Loving Relationships.'

I am absolutely thrilled that I am now able to support anyoneanywhere! So if you are interested in utilizing my support, but are not local or able to meet face to face, please inquire about these amazing new options.

Individuals: Are you generally self-aware and successful at moving forward with your life, but currently feeling stuck?

  • Are you educated, motivated and committed to your own personal growth and evolution, but are currently repeating behavior you know is inconsistent with your intentions for your life?
  • Do you know that psychotherapy can be a very useful and constructive process for accomplishing these goals?
  • Are you ready to take action and do the work, to heal old wounds, to get unstuck, and to move forward with your life?

It is not unusual for some of us, no matter how self-aware and generally successful we are with our lives, to occasionally find ourselves stuck, unable to move forward, or repeating patterns that aren't working for us. Sometimes we know what's getting in the way, but for whatever reason are still unable to effectively move it out of the way - and sometimes we have no idea what's in the way, or maybe even that there is anything in the way. Regardless, we're not making the progress with our lives that we'd like.

From time to time all of us can use support in accomplishing what we are up to in life - no matter how educated, self-aware, or evolved we are.

The trick for many of us in this situation is to realize that we don't have to or need to do it alone, and then to seek the support we desire.

I can help you in your efforts to get unstuck by ...

  • Helping you identify what's getting in the way
  • Helping you to go deeper and look closer at the source(s) of what's getting in the way or holding you back
  • Helping you to find old stories and emotional wounds that you may not even know are there, but are causing you to behave in ways inconsistent with your intentions
  • Helping you to identify and resolve the fears that keep you from acting assertively and effectively
  • Helping you to develop your own new and effective strategies for moving forward

I am ready and eager to help you clear the path ahead, and to continue creating the life of your dreams with you.

Couples: Do you desire closer, more intimate connection in your relationship?

  • Do you have a relationship that feels more emotionally distant than you'd like?
  • Are you struggling to communicate clearly and effectively with one another?
  • Is confusion, frustration, and anger a more regular part of your relationship than you'd choose?
  • Would you like to feel a closer more intimate and loving connection with each other?
  • Are you at a loss for how to reclaim the closeness you desire?
  • Or perhaps you are simply desiring support in maintaining and strengthening the intimacy you've created in your relationship.

As fulfilling and warm and wonderful as our relationships can be, they require time and attention and maintenance to be at their best - and sometimes, try as we may, our efforts to keep them alive and loving and dynamic, simply don't seem to be working for us.

All relationships (lovers, partners, parent/child, friendships and so on) require 'adjustments' from time to time in order to thrive - and often, we can use support from a competent outside source to help us get there. The important thing is to remember that you don't have to figure it out all by yourselves. The support you are seeking is just one step away.

  • If you are seeking ways of being more transparent, honest, and authentic in your relationship
  • If you want to clear out the stuff that keeps you from being as loving and close as you'd like to be
  • If you'd like to communicate more clearly and effectively
  • If you'd like to reconnect in a profoundly deeper, more authentic and fully expressed manor

I can help you.

Please take the next step to creating the relationship you desire.

I am looking forward to working with you to create a deeper more loving intimate and connected relationship.

Young Adults: Are you struggling with the unique challenges of becoming an independent adult?

The transition from dependent teen living at home, to independent adult living on your own can be and often is an incredibly exciting, dynamic, and sometimes scary time of life. With issues of work and self-sufficiency, starting a career or managing life in college, planning your future, new living situations, peer relationships, questions of marriage, and so on, it can feel uncertain and daunting.

  • Am I going to be able to make it on my own?
  • What if I mess up?
  • What am I going to do with my life? School? Work? Travel? Career?
  • How do I manage all this freedom with all this responsibility?
  • What if I need help?

If you are struggling with these questions and/or others like them, you are not alone. Learning to navigate your way through the early years of adulthood, is a process everyone goes through. It can be a time full of excitement and fun, but also loaded with questions, concerns, sometimes fear, anxiety, or even terror. Being finished with high school, starting college or a career, moving out of the home, living independently, supporting yourself, and many other issues of being a real live adult, can sometimes feel overwhelming.

Many people can use support in making this transition into official adulthood, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Over the years, I have worked with many teens and young adults during this time in their lives, both individually and in groups. Together we have found our way to better adjust and cope with the particular challenges of this very dynamic life transition, and we’ve even found joy and excitement, and pride in our successes.

So, if you’re ready to explore this new territory, to seek and find the answers you need, and you don’t want to do it alone, please take the next step.

Parents of Teens: Is life with your teen(s) leaving you feeling confused, concerned, even overwhelmed?

Consider the following questions:

  • Have you been noticing how 'different' and 'difficult' your relationship with your child is since he or she became a "teenager?"
  • Do situations come up between you and your teen that cause you both to feel frustrated, angry, confused, and helpless?
  • Do you struggle for ways of communicating and dealing with this 'alien teen-being' who's living in your house?
  • Do you worry that your teen may make a huge mistake that severely impacts the rest of his or her life, or maybe even costs his or her life, and you don’t know how to change or stop it?
  • Do you feel you need answers—sometimes to questions you didn’t even know you had—but don’t know where to find them?
  • Does your teen complain that you just don't know or understand him or her?
  • Do you sometimes feel you are at your wits’ end, and just don’t know what to do?

If you answered yes to any of these, I want you to know that all is not lost, and you are not alone. Most parents of teens wrestle with these and similar challenges, and can use extra support.

As a therapist, a former middle school and high school teacher, and a parent myself, I have talked with many parents who notice and wonder:

  • "Am I being too strict? Too lenient?"
  • "What can I do to keep my kids on the right path?"
  • "I can't believe my kids are talking to me/us like that!"
  • "I'm feeling overwhelmed trying to manage the chaos."

It is absolutely normal for families, especially those with teens, to struggle with these challenges. Unfortunately, there's no "owner's manual" that comes with being a parent. Even the best of us sometimes reach a point when we need a helpful third party who can support us.

This is where I come in.

I can help you with:

  • Making better sense of the 'apparent' insanity by understanding the whys and wherefores of normal teen and family development
  • Exploring concerns and fears, and setting priorities that work for 'your' family
  • Clarifying expectations and consequences, and family roles and boundaries
  • Improving connection, understanding, and communication between you and your teens
  • Ultimately, finding acceptance, appreciation, and celebration for every family member

I'm looking forward to hearing from you, and beginning the work of creating a more loving and peaceful family with you.

Spiritual And/Or Psychic Emergence

In addition to doing individual work with this population, I offer Spiritual and/or Psychic Emergence process and support groups, in which we share our experiences, discover that we are not alone, start/continue to manage what’s happening, and support one another through our shared experience. If you or anyone you know might benefit from individual support or such a group, please forward this to them, and have them take the survey below, and have them contact me.

JWHolley, M.A., Marriage and Family Therapist

There is support available for you, whatever your experience. You do not have to go through this alone.

Please take advantage of the support you are seeking.

Spiritual And/Or Psychic Emergence Survey

  • Have you been having experiences that are difficult or impossible to understand or explain within the context of ‘normal’ life experience?
  • Do you ever ‘sense’ the presence of someone or others when there’s no one else there?
  • Do you hear voices or feel compelled to take some action apparently from nowhere?
  • Do you ever see things that others can’t see?
  • Do you ever feel that you can’t control your own body from shaking or shuddering - or that it takes a great deal of effort to control it?
  • Are you sometimes/often/always afraid of what’s happening to you or around you when it looks like ‘nothing’ to others?
  • Do you ever feel like you’re struggling to stay in your body, or to keep from floating away?
  • Do you ever feel exhausted from all the energy you are expending in dealing with these phenomena?
  • Do you ever wonder if you’re crazy or going insane?
  • Are you confused about what you’re experiencing, and can’t seem to find answers that make sense?

If you answered yes to any of these, you may be experiencing a Spiritual and/or Psychic Emergence - the emergence of Spiritual and/or Psychic phenomena in you.

I want you to know that you are not alone - in your experience, or in getting support through it. Many others have had and are having similar experiences (and the numbers seem to be increasing), and are just as curious, confused, and/or scared as you.

I am currently forming a Spiritual/Psychic Emergence process and support group, in which we will share our experiences, discover that we are not alone, start/continue to manage what’s happening, and support one another through our shared experience.

If you or anyone you know is having these type of experiences–including related confusion, stress, a sense of overwhelm and/or exhaustion, fear or simple curiosity about new or ongoing inexplicable phenomena that don’t make sense or that seem to be ‘outside’ of your/their actual physical experience–and are interested in participating in a process/support group with others having similar experiences, please contact me.